Life, and the professional one in particular, is accompanied by many questions. Would I choose this path again? Does what I do fulfill me? And are these even my dreams, or just ideas I adopted from those around me? Today we bring a slightly different text—a personal reflection on how our goals, expectations, and idea of what our life should look like can change along with us. Kateřina Sokolová shared her feelings, experiences, and thoughts on this topic with us.
This article is being written a few hours after I returned from the Dolomites. I am sitting at home, finishing my coffee, and replaying the last few days in my mind. I remember conquering altitude meters, stones beneath my feet, unforgettable views, and the silence on mountain peaks, as well as a feeling that is hard to describe in words. Seeing the Dolomites was one of the wishes I wrote down for this year. But were the Dolomites always my dream? Not at all.
Because of that, I realized one thing. Our dreams and goals are not set in stone. They change as we do.
We often hear that we should hold on to our dreams at all costs. Grab them. That perseverance is a sign of success. Especially in today’s "moderntime. On the contrary, I think there is yet another form of courage. And that is to admit that some dreams are no longer ours. That we have outgrown them. That we have changed. And that is not failure. That is life.
What did you wish for when you were little?
When I look back at my childhood, one thing comes to mind. I wanted to be a veterinarian. Not because I was already planning a career as a little girl. I loved animals. I surrounded myself with them. But I'm not a veterinarian. And I never felt like I messed anything up because of it.
Today I realize that what hasn't disappeared is my desire to help. It fulfills me to be with people, to listen to them, to guide them, to create an environment in which they can grow. When I look at it from this perspective, I actually never completely abandoned my childhood dream. I just found another path. Maybe you feel similarly.
Try to stop for a moment and look back with me. What did you wish for as children? And what of that has remained in you to this day? Whose dreams were you really fulfilling?
Perhaps you no longer want to do the same job. Perhaps you no longer yearn to live in the same place or have the same life that you imagined when you were twenty. You may find that beneath those dreams, some value is hidden. A desire for freedom. For adventure. For peace. To help others. It is precisely these values that tend to be much more permanent than the goals themselves and influence what we decide to do in life. And at any age, it can be different.
Dreams mature along with us
I still remember one more wish. I wanted to climb Mount Everest. I don't think this dream will come true for me. Not only because of what has been happening on this mountain in recent years. I know that fulfilling this goal can take a different form, though. Like maybe at least seeing it. Perhaps that's what the mountains taught me. That we don't have to conquer everything. Some things are enough to experience, some to admire from a distance, or that something simply isn't for us.
I didn't fall in love with the mountains overnight. It didn't happen in elementary school or at university. I was introduced to them by the people I met in my life. At first, they were ordinary trips. Then day hikes. Later, longer traverses. Over time, I realized it's not about performance. It's not about the number of peaks. It's not even about how many kilometers I walk. It's about how I feel there, how I move in the mountains, and what my body allows me to do.
In the mountains, I feel like life quiets down for a moment. I stop dealing with the things that seemed important to me back home. Suddenly, I only care about the next step, the weather, the water in my backpack, and the people around me. Maybe that's exactly why I keep going back to them. Not because I want to conquer another peak. But because that is where I find myself.
I think that the very feeling of how we want to feel when achieving a goal is more important than achieving it at all costs without any emotion. As a rule, a state then follows: "OK. And what now?" Yes, it is easy to stray onto this path.
Some dreams just wait
For several years, I have been carrying a wish in my head that I haven't managed to fulfill for certain reasons yet. Earlier, I had the feeling that I had missed out on something. I had, and still have, many people around me who are living this "dream of mine." Before, I felt as if I were behind. As if my life wasn't going in the right direction. Today, I no longer perceive it that way. Each of us is dealt different cards. We all have different opportunities, different circumstances, and a different pace.
That desire is still inside me. I just don't feel the need to fulfill it immediately. Maybe it will come next year. Maybe in five years. And maybe it will transform into something completely different. But that doesn't mean the dream has lost its value. It's just maturing along with me.
Whose dreams are truly mine?
We have never had as many options as we do today. Just open your phone and pick one of the social networks. Someone is building a house. Someone has traveled half the world. Someone is founding their third company. Someone ran an ultramaraton. Someone else bought a van and lives in it. And someone else moved to the mountains. There is nothing wrong with any of that. On the contrary.
Social networks brought me a lot of inspiration on their own. Thanks to them, I discovered places I might otherwise never have gone. I saw photographs of the Dolomites long before I visited them.
However, inspiration has one peculiar quality. When we receive it every day, it can subtly turn into expectation. We start feeling that we should also travel more. Earn more. Exercise more. Start a business. Live in a house. Or, conversely, sell everything and move to a remote place.
How many times have I asked myself whether what I want is truly what I want. Or if I was just watching someone live it for long enough. I don't think social networks are the problem. The problem arises the moment we stop distinguishing inspiration from our own desires.
Just like our parents. In most cases, they only want the best for us. They wish for us to have an easier life than they had. But they see the world through the eyes of their own experience. Not ours. And sometimes it takes a long time before we allow ourselves to say: "Thank you. But my path will lead elsewhere."
Saying no to some dream
We love to talk about how we made our dreams come true. But when was the last time you heard someone say, "This dream is no longer mine"? Not because they were lazy. Not because they gave up. But because they changed.
Perhaps someone will find that the managerial position they desired for years takes more energy than it gives. Perhaps someone will drop out of college because they realize life is pulling them elsewhere. Perhaps someone will discover they don't need a big house, but more time with family. It doesn't mean they failed. It means they learned to listen to themselves.
I think that is one of the hardest things about adulthood. Not knowing how to just endure. But also knowing when enduring is no longer the right path. And that wanting more or something different is okay.
When I stood on Piz Boè
When I stood on the summit of Piz Boè, my first three-thousander, I realized one strange thing. I hadn't fulfilled the dream of twenty-year-old Katka. Nor had I fulfilled the dream of the little girl who wanted to be a veterinarian.
I fulfilled the dream of the woman I became because of myself. Thanks to all the people I met and who inspired me. Thanks to all the decisions that didn't work out. Thanks to job changes, new experiences, doubts, and the courage to start over. Suddenly I realized it's not about the mountain. It's about the journey that led me to it.
And perhaps it is just like that with our dreams. We don't have to hold on to them just because we once dreamed them. We have the right to change them. We have the right to admit that we have changed. We have the right to grow up.
Perhaps right now you are holding in your hands something that has long since ceased to serve you. An old idea of what your life was supposed to look like. A goal you set years ago. Or a dream that today belongs to someone other than you.
Try asking yourself one simple question today.
If I were starting over, would I choose the same path?
And if the answer is no, maybe it is not time to add another goal. Maybe it is time to let something go. Because I believe that the greatest courage does not lie in enduring at all costs. Sometimes it lies in giving yourself permission to grow. And making space for dreams that are waiting to be discovered.
