Self-harm is often seen as just physical damage to the body, which is hard to understand. But what if it is actually a silent cry for help, a signal that reflects a deep inner pain and a need to be heard? Self-harm is not just an impulsive act or a sign of weakness. It's a complex way for a person to express what they don't have words for, and to cope with unpleasant emotions that might otherwise be overwhelming. It is these unspoken feelings and needs that deserve our attention and sensitivity. Instead of judging, it is important to see self-harm as a signal that someone needs support, understanding and a safe space.
Veronika's story: when silence cries for help
Veronica has always seemed like a strong and resilient woman. At work and at home, she performed her duties to perfection, but inside she felt different - confused, sad and lonely. Self-harm became a way for her to relieve invisible pain. "Don't tell anyone," she whispered to herself whenever she found herself alone with her secret. The pain on her skin was sometimes the only way she felt she was still alive when everything else around her seemed empty.
Gradually, however, guilt and shame set in, isolating her even more. Although she wanted to stop, she didn't know how. It was only when she decided to seek psychotherapy that she began to understand that self-harm was not a failure, but a cry for help and understanding. Through therapy, she learned to put her emotions into words, recognize her needs, and build a relationship with herself based on self-love.
Self-harm is not a weakness, but a call to understanding
Self-harm is often a reaction to deep inner stress, anxiety, depression or trauma. It is not a "mere" desire to hurt oneself, but sometimes the only way a person can cope with unacceptable pain or confusion. As the psychotherapist says Hana Hniličková:
"Self-harm is not a sign of weakness, but of immense courage to face our emotions, even when we don't know how else to express them."
However, this way of expressing pain often remains misunderstood and stigmatized. People who self-harm often struggle with feelings of shame and isolation. Yet understanding and support can be the first step towards healing.
Signals that deserve attention
Self-harm is often accompanied by other symptoms that are often overlooked - prolonged sadness, anxiety, sleep problems, low self-esteem or feelings of hopelessness. These symptoms can be like silent cries of the soul that need to be heard and accepted.
Psychiatrist Radkin Honzák adds:
"When you don't have the words to say what hurts, sometimes the body helps you find your voice."
It is important to remember that self-harm is not an accident, but a message that the body and soul send when we feel lost or lonely. Recognizing these signals and responding to them with kindness is a step toward greater self-understanding.
The road to healing begins with self-love and listening
Healing from self-harm is not quick or easy, but it begins with accepting what we feel and finding healthier ways to cope with the pain. Psychotherapy can be a big help, as can support from loved ones, keeping a journal, or breathing exercises.
It's important to remember:
"You are not your pain, you are the one who learns to overcome it."
It is kindness towards oneself that opens the way to deeper balance and inner peace. Learning to recognize our needs and not being afraid to ask for them is beneficial not only for the body, but also for the soul.
Practical tips on how to work with self-harm
- Become aware of the signals of your body and mind - Stop and ask, "What am I feeling right now? Where do I feel tension or pain?" Write down these feelings. Just naming them helps you process them.
- Find a safe space to share - Talk to someone you trust - a friend, family, therapist. Sharing is not a weakness.
- Create a crisis plan - Make a list of activities that help you calm down, such as listening to music, drawing, taking a walk, deep breathing, warm tea or writing in a journal.
- Learn simple breathing techniques - Slowly and consciously breathe into the abdomen, for example 4 seconds inhale, 4 seconds exhale.
- Spend time on self-love - Small pleasures like a bath, a favourite book, a walk in nature or a quiet moment with tea teach the mind that it deserves to be cared for.
- Seek professional help - Self-harm is often a symptom of deeper problems that can be addressed with a psychotherapist or psychiatrist.
- Learn to recognize triggers - Identify what exactly triggers the need to self-harm - stress, loneliness, memories?
- Remind yourself that you don't have to be perfect - Self-compassion and self-understanding are the foundation of healing.
- Find a new way of expressing pain - Paint, write poetry, dance, or find another creative outlet.
- Be patient and kind to yourself - Recovery is a marathon, every little step counts.
Bonus Tip: Try the Czech app Nepanikařwhich offers simple techniques for managing anxiety and stress right on your phone.
Recommended literature and inspiration
- Kateřina Halámková - "Self-harm" - It sensitively and clearly describes the causes, manifestations and ways to help oneself and others.
- Brené Brown - "The Gifts of Imperfection" - Inspiration on how to accept yourself with love and respect.
- Jan Vojacek - "Psychosomatics: when the body speaks to the soul" - It connects psychology and the physical manifestations of emotions.
There are also a number of articles, videos and communities online that provide support and a safe space for those who are experiencing self-harm or want to help someone close to them.
Maybe now is the time
If you feel something inside you crying out for help, that you are tired or lost inside, it is not a sign of failure, but a call to stop and seek support. Self-harm is not the end of the journey, but it can be the beginning of a new understanding of yourself. Every step you take towards yourself is a step towards healing and freedom.
Remember:
"True strength is not in bearing everything alone, but in having the courage to say we need help."
If you are experiencing difficult or dangerous feelings right now, don't be afraid to seek professional support. In the Czech Republic, for example, you can use The safety line - 116 111where they provide you with a safe space, understanding and help.
