Former member of the Kutná Hora sect, Lucie Strachová, openly shares her experiences on Instagram. @lucie.strachovaIn addition to information about healers and the sect, she also talks about her journey as a teacher and burnout. In the interview, she describes how the healer, high demands, and system failures have affected her.
Why did you decide to become a teacher?
Even when I was choosing a university, I was thinking about teaching. I've always felt close to children, but I felt that the education system that is set up here would not suit me. The healer Richard had a huge influence on me. He had already encouraged many people before me to go into teaching. He said it was a safe environment where you just teach and go home, which is not really the reality. I originally wanted to work as a teaching assistant, but the healer encouraged me by saying there weren't enough teachers and that I should at least try one interview and see what happens. I posted an ad and five schools immediately contacted me saying they were very interested. I decided to give it a chance even without a teaching degree.
What were the beginnings?
In my first school, I was assigned to the 3rd grade, which I taught for two more years, and at the same time, I was responsible for the 6th graders. In the second stage, I taught civic education, which built upon my previous studies. However, I had to supplement many things through courses.
I was thrown into the water. I learned how to learn.
In interviews, you openly talk about your experience with burnout. When did it start to manifest?
I started experiencing signs of burnout early in my teaching career, though I didn't recognize it at the time. I was thrown in at the deep end. I had to learn how to teach while actually teaching. After moving to Prague and changing schools, I was responsible for 28 first graders without an educational assistant. When you're on your own, there's no room to approach each child individually. My mistake was that I fully immersed myself in the role of a teacher and let it consume me. On top of that, I became aware of what was happening in the Kutná Hora cult. Then the problems only got worse. I started developing eczema, other health complications arose, I was constantly sick and catching colds. My teaching approach to the children changed, and I no longer enjoyed my work. I would go to work crying, I was constantly tired, and essentially just surviving.
Have you encountered burnout in female colleagues?
I've never actually encountered anyone who named it. It's not entirely the norm to talk about these things in education. Nevertheless, in my last job, I shared with my colleagues what was happening to me and that I was on the verge of burnout. Their reactions were very supportive; they really appreciated my decision. Many of them told me they felt the same way or were feeling it, but they felt they didn't really have a choice, and due to financial or personal reasons, they had to continue working. I have great understanding for them; not everyone can afford to make such decisions and quit their job. Unfortunately, burnout isn't taken as seriously in education as it should be.
If everyone who was doing as badly as me left, there wouldn't be many people left to teach.
How would you describe the appearance of a burned-out teacher?
In my opinion, that's incredibly difficult to judge. There are always two sides to these things. Of course, it's difficult for me to look at colleagues who I see are constantly ironic and tired; you can observe that a lot in their communication with children. But it really is hard work, and I wouldn't presume to judge which people should and shouldn't do this job, because who else would do it? If everyone who felt as bad as I did left, there wouldn't be many people left teaching. Thank goodness for everyone who is still working under these conditions. I appreciate them.
Do you think that if the system were set up differently, there wouldn't be so much burnout in education?
It would be positive to have fewer children in the classroom, although I understand that's not entirely realistic. But it's something that frustrated me the most. My primary focus has always been upbringing/nurturing, but I wasn't able to fulfill it well with this number of children and all the demands placed on teachers. It was also one of the things that ultimately broke me, because there wasn't time to take care of a child when it cried. You perceive the children's feelings and know what should be done correctly, but you can't because there isn't just one child sitting in the classroom; there are 27 others who, at the same time, are figuring out which crayon to take, and on top of that, someone spilled something. But, of course, there are many other things that would be nice to have differently.
When did the turning point come?
The bus ride to work with tears was already a warning for me, but the main turning point came when a student told me that I mean teacherThis shocked me. I never thought in my life I'd hear this. At my old school, I was one of the popular teachers, the kids really liked me, and suddenly I was that Mean teacherIt was a crash into a wall. I felt really bad about it; my boundaries were set too low. Everything was tiring and annoying me at the time; I was simply too sensitive. I couldn't control myself anymore and started repeating the exact sentences of those mean teachers, which I used to think I would never say. It was just horrible... Then I left.
Did the cult interfere with your work? Did the healer tell you what you should or shouldn't say to your children?
Work and the sect were quite separate. The healer didn't really deal with these things. For him, work wasn't something you were supposed to enjoy excessively. I never discussed work with him, and I think most people didn't either. He claimed your work should be practical and make sense, so that at best, you'd be home early and working on yourselves. So, discussing the philosophy of education or something similar, that absolutely didn't happen. Richard wasn't interested in these things at all, and children, not at all. In fact, I think he only started to perceive you from a certain age. He saw me as a client who wasn't entirely important.
The healer took advantage of my lack of confidence in confiding and seeking, whether therapeutic or psychological help.
Although this conversation is primarily about teaching, I can't help but ask: How did the cult affect your psyche? Because that could also be related to burnout...
I would say in many ways. A fundamental one for me is that I will never know how I would have fared from adolescence if the healer hadn't entered our family, or my life, because I think, whether genetically or personality-wise, I already had predispositions for an internal struggle, but I don't know how much it would have been if I hadn't met him. Nevertheless, he definitely tore apart my safety net, which I could have had in my parents or in other relationships. He took advantage of my lack of confidence in confiding and seeking, whether therapeutic or psychological help.
Specifically?
He completely cut me off from emotions, from experiencing and compassion, because you need to get rid of emotions when you have to stop seeing family and be able to say something nasty to their faces. The healer gave us this as a task, pitting us against each other. I did it even when I was telling myself, this just isn't me. I would never say this, and so on. He took away my sense of self and how I perceive myself. Not at all what I want, what kind of work I might want to do, or what fulfills me. I will never know what I could have been.
Lucie Strachová is gradually returning to her normal life. She recently published a book, "Manipulatedwith a fictional story based on personal experiences and has a podcast Broken, where he shares his life story.
